[HWPL Peace Education Textbook 8-3] Application of Forgiveness

[HWPL Peace Education Textbook 8 Understanding and Forgiving Others]

[8-3] Application of Forgiveness

 

◆ Learnning Objectives

1. Understand the meaning of forgiveness and its relationship to peace.

2. Recognize the necessity of forgiveness through various examples.

3. Explore ways to apply and practice forgiveness in daily life.

 

◆ Forgiveness: A Gift to Yourself

Forgiveness is not something that can be forced. Even when we decide to forgive, feelings of anger and resentment can linger. We may forgive today but feel the anger resurface tomorrow. Additionally, people around us might not understand our decision to forgive, asking, "How can you forgive someone so terrible?" It’s important to remember that forgiveness is not an obligation and that not being able to forgive doesn't make us strange. Forgiveness is a journey towards our own happiness and a peaceful world. Just like farmers work hard to harvest their crops, achieving peace requires continuous effort in forgiveness.

Simple Ways to Practice Forgiveness

Professor Fred Luskin from Stanford University suggests easy and practical methods to incorporate forgiveness into our daily lives: 

- Acknowledge your feelings: Understand and accept your emotions.

- Express yourself: Write down or talk about what hurt you.

- Find perspective: Realize that everyone makes mistakes.

- Focus on the present: Let go of the past and concentrate on the present moment.

- Take responsibility: Understand that holding onto anger affects your health.

 

The Health Benefits of Forgiveness

Research shows that forgiveness has significant positive effects on our physical health:

- Mayo Clinic: People who hold onto anger are three times more likely to have a heart attack.

- Friedman and Rosenman: Individuals with hostile personalities are twice as likely to develop heart disease.

- Hope College: Hatred increases heart rate and blood pressure, while forgiveness lowers both.

- Dr. Dick Tibbits: Forgiveness can be an effective treatment for high blood pressure and excessive anger.

- Johns Hopkins Hospital: Forgiveness reduces the risk of heart attack, improves cholesterol levels, normalizes sleep patterns, and reduces pain, stress, anxiety, and depression.

- Stanford University Forgiveness Project: Practicing forgiveness significantly reduces stress responses and physiological disturbances, leading to lower blood pressure, muscle tension, and heart rate.

 

Forgiveness is not about giving a free pass to the wrongdoer. It’s about freeing yourself from anger and hatred, which otherwise lead to your own suffering. Thus, forgiveness is primarily for yourself.

 

◆ Common Misconceptions About Forgiveness

1. Forgiveness is not forgetting: It doesn’t mean erasing memories or denying the past. It’s about changing how we remember the events.

2. Forgiveness is not condoning: It’s not about justifying the wrong actions but understanding human frailty.

3. Forgiveness is not reconciliation: While forgiveness can lead to reconciliation, it doesn’t always have to. Reconciliation involves both parties, but forgiveness can be done independently.

4. Forgiveness is not granting a pardon: Forgiving someone doesn’t mean they are free from legal or moral accountability. It’s about letting go of your desire for revenge.

 

◆ Reflection

1.     Reflect on how forgiving or not forgiving someone affects your life. Discuss why forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself.

2.     Think of the person you find hardest to forgive and follow these steps to process your thoughts:

1. Recall the Hurt: Write down what happened that caused you pain.

2. Identify the Difficulty: List why it’s hard to forgive them.

3. Find Your Reason: Write down why you should forgive.

4. Plan Your Forgiveness: Decide how you will forgive and write down your steps.

5. Share and Discuss: If you feel ready, discuss your thoughts with someone you trust.

 

<Chapter 8 Conclusion: Understanding and Forgiving Others>

Achieving peace requires various efforts, one of which is addressing the hatred and anger present in the world. Whether between nations, communities, or individuals, unresolved anger is like a powder keg that could explode at any time. Forgiveness is not an abstract concept but something we can practice daily. It’s essential for creating a peaceful future. True peace comes from genuine forgiveness and reflection within each person.

Our goal is to build a peaceful world, and forgiveness is for our well-being and the well-being of future generations. If we don’t address our anger and hatred, our descendants might face the consequences of war and violence. To break this cycle, someone has to take the first step. Let that someone be you, and let the time for peace through forgiveness be now.